I don't disagree, but I'd point out that the oppressors make the same conflation -- see for example the belief that being gay is a life choice, or being fat, or being poor (an example of which is upthread). All of these are used as sticks with which to beat people; at best, it's "well, if you can prove to me that your specific situation is not due to life choices, I might deign to extend you some sympathy" ("yeah, but what were you wearing?"). In the gay community, there's a debate over "born this way" rhetoric, because whether or not being gay is a choice shouldn't be the grounds on which people decide that bigotry is okay.